Trump and Harris drop out of presidential race; endorse Amok and Ivan

I don't usually write shitposts on the internet, but I've been wanting to write something more or less like this for a while, so here we go.


Yesterday evening, at 8:30, Trump and Harris held a joint press conference, announcing that they are dropping out of the presidential race, and endorsing Amok and Ivan, creators of the online strategy MMO, atWar(previously known as Afterwind).

When asked why he changed his mind so drastically, Trump said, "you know, I was really excited to accomplish even more than last time in my second term in office—I had some very big plans! Big plans, I can assure you—but then I realized that there were these guys, Amok and Ivan. They created this amazing game called 'atWar', and I was looking at this, and I couldn't believe it! It was incredible. Truly a masterpiece, the likes of which this world has never known, and I realized that if they could create something so amazing, they just had to become president and vice president of this beautiful country of ours. I had no choice in the matter, Amok and Ivan are just that great."

When Harris was asked why she made her decision, she laughed, and said, "you know, I was really scared that I might lose, because Trump has some very loyal supporters. And then he talked to me about how he was going to endorse Amok and Ivan, the creators of the nearly defunct game 'atWar'. I realized that no fan base could possibly be more devoted, loyal, and willing to go to the polls, than people who are STILL playing atWar. Since I realized that I was hopelessly and entirely screwed, I decided to drop out of the race along with him."

While most people who know anything about strategy games are excited for the new administration, other people are going to www.atwar-game.com to learn why atWar is so amazing, that Amok and Ivan are going to be the next administration, as members of the atWar party, dedicated to replacing actual warfare with games of atWar, as well as making atWar a required part of our nation's high school curriculum.

Please see page 6 regarding the upcoming budget meeting between the congressional leaders, Mike Johnson and Hakeem Jeffries. When asked about their plans for the next budget, we were told "You know, we waste all of this money on things we obviously don't need. With this in mind, we have decided to reorganize our entitlements in this country by replacing them with lifetime premium subscriptions to atWar, for poor people who can't afford premium accounts. We call it 'Universal atWar Premium Membership for All." (continued on p. 6)

Wow

The Visionary Leadership of Amok and Ivan

The illustrious Amok and Ivan, true visionaries from Estonia, are poised to bring their innovative spirit and adaptability to the highest office. Did you know that during their reign, atWar servers were hosted in none other than Kenya? Yes, you heard that right! This bold move showcased their exceptional ability to think outside the box, maintaining peak performance even in the face of adversity. Their global perspective and ability to optimize under any circumstances make them the perfect candidates to lead a nation into a bright, interconnected future.

Meet the AtWar Dream Team: Cabinet Members for the Future

Dave - Secretary of the Treasury
As the owner and primary developer since 2018, Dave has shown unparalleled dedication and financial responsibility by keeping the servers running smoothly. His experience in budget management makes him a prime candidate for Secretary of the Treasury.

brianwl - Attorney General
With his role as Chief Justice in the game, brianwl has demonstrated a strong commitment to fairness and community relations. His skills would translate perfectly to the position of Attorney General, ensuring justice and equity for all.

Sid - Secretary of Homeland Security
Leader of the moderator team, Sid has a proven track record in maintaining order and enforcing rules. As Secretary of Homeland Security, he would ensure a safe and secure environment for the nation.

Pavle - Secretary of Commerce
A leader in community engagement and support, his experience in advertising and social media management would be invaluable as Secretary of Commerce, promoting national interests and economic growth.

VladRacovita - Secretary of Health and Human Services
With a deep understanding of community needs and a history of mentoring new players, VladRacovita would excel as Secretary of Health and Human Services, focusing on public well-being and support systems.

Superhero - Secretary of State
As the mastermind behind SEO and social media, Superhero is equipped to handle modern communication strategies, making him an ideal candidate for Secretary of State, enhancing diplomatic relations with a touch of digital savvy.

Heat Check - Secretary of Defense
With extensive experience in rule enforcement and community standards, Heat Check would be a strong choice for Secretary of Defense, ensuring national security and strategic preparedness.

Eagle - Secretary of Education
Known for their vigilance and dedication to maintaining a fair play environment, Eagle's skills would be perfectly suited for the role of Secretary of Education, implementing robust policies for educational development.

Zoe - Secretary of Labor
Her role as a supporter and premium member signifies a deep investment in the community's welfare. Despite her personal hardships, including her father's mysterious disappearance for milk three years ago, Zoe has shown resilience and leadership. As Secretary of Labor, Zoe would advocate for fair labor practices and employment opportunities, ensuring that every American has the support they need. Her touching story and plea for her father's return highlight her compassion and dedication to family values.

DireWarlord99 - Secretary of Veterans Affairs
With a strong presence in moderation and community management, DireWarlord99 would be an excellent Secretary of Veterans Affairs, ensuring that those who have served are well taken care of.

Clovis1122 - Secretary of Technology and Innovation
A talented programmer from Jamaica, Clovis1122 volunteered under Ivan and Amok, contributing to the development of the atWar mapmaker. Although his work resulted in some of the most bugged code the world has seen, his persistence and willingness to tackle complex programming challenges are commendable. As Secretary of Technology and Innovation, Clovis1122 would bring a unique perspective to the role, focusing on improving the nation's technological infrastructure and fostering innovation despite past setbacks.

Nedris - Secretary of Housing and Urban Development
Beloved by the community for his excellent map-making skills and his ability to bring people together, Nedris is a natural fit for Secretary of Housing and Urban Development. Of Italian heritage and openly gay, Nedris embodies diversity and creativity. His experience in creating detailed maps translates well into urban planning and development, ensuring inclusive and well-thought-out housing policies. His popularity and people skills will be invaluable in fostering community and addressing housing needs across the nation.

Croat - Director of the CIA
A controversial yet experienced figure, Croat has been both accused of cheating and praised for his strategic prowess in atWar. His controversial methods and deep knowledge of strategic operations make him a fitting, albeit unconventional, choice for Director of the CIA. While some may question his tactics, his ability to handle complex situations and navigate through adversities cannot be denied.
A Bright Future Awaits

The Panda Jew - Supreme Court Nominee
A Jewish man from Israel, The Panda Jew has served in the military during the conflict in Gaza, bringing a wealth of real-world experience and calm under pressure. Known for his chill demeanor and being best friends with Pavle, their bromance has become legendary within the atWar community. While his gaming skills may not be the best, his likability and fair-mindedness make him an excellent candidate for the Supreme Court. His background and strong sense of justice will ensure a balanced and compassionate judiciary.

Imagine this dynamic team leading the nation with the same dedication and innovation they've shown in the world of atWar. Their diverse skills and forward-thinking approach are exactly what's needed to take the country to new heights. Universal atWar Premium Membership for All? It's not just a policy; it's the future!

Weird.

Harris: Now is the time for leaders who understand the importance of leading, because importance is important, and we need leaders who understand the importance of importance...
Trump: I...
Harris: Excuse me, I'm speaking. As I was saying, this is an important time for leaders to lead by leading because that's what leaders do, when the time is a time of importance, like the present time.

נכתב על ידי Oleg, 08.08.2024 at 06:43

The Visionary Leadership of Amok and Ivan

The illustrious Amok and Ivan, true visionaries from Estonia, are poised to bring their innovative spirit and adaptability to the highest office. Did you know that during their reign, atWar servers were hosted in none other than Kenya? Yes, you heard that right! This bold move showcased their exceptional ability to think outside the box, maintaining peak performance even in the face of adversity. Their global perspective and ability to optimize under any circumstances make them the perfect candidates to lead a nation into a bright, interconnected future.

Fake news! They were hosted in Somalia until Djiboutian pirates co operated with Waffel to take them down.

נכתב על ידי DeepFriedUnicorn, 08.08.2024 at 12:05

Weird.

very

נכתב על ידי Oleg, 08.08.2024 at 06:43

The Visionary Leadership of Amok and Ivan

The illustrious Amok and Ivan, true visionaries from Estonia, are poised to bring their innovative spirit and adaptability to the highest office. Did you know that during their reign, atWar servers were hosted in none other than Kenya? Yes, you heard that right! This bold move showcased their exceptional ability to think outside the box, maintaining peak performance even in the face of adversity. Their global perspective and ability to optimize under any circumstances make them the perfect candidates to lead a nation into a bright, interconnected future.

Meet the AtWar Dream Team: Cabinet Members for the Future

Dave - Secretary of the Treasury
As the owner and primary developer since 2018, Dave has shown unparalleled dedication and financial responsibility by keeping the servers running smoothly. His experience in budget management makes him a prime candidate for Secretary of the Treasury.

brianwl - Attorney General
With his role as Chief Justice in the game, brianwl has demonstrated a strong commitment to fairness and community relations. His skills would translate perfectly to the position of Attorney General, ensuring justice and equity for all.

Sid - Secretary of Homeland Security
Leader of the moderator team, Sid has a proven track record in maintaining order and enforcing rules. As Secretary of Homeland Security, he would ensure a safe and secure environment for the nation.

Pavle - Secretary of Commerce
A leader in community engagement and support, his experience in advertising and social media management would be invaluable as Secretary of Commerce, promoting national interests and economic growth.

VladRacovita - Secretary of Health and Human Services
With a deep understanding of community needs and a history of mentoring new players, VladRacovita would excel as Secretary of Health and Human Services, focusing on public well-being and support systems.

Superhero - Secretary of State
As the mastermind behind SEO and social media, Superhero is equipped to handle modern communication strategies, making him an ideal candidate for Secretary of State, enhancing diplomatic relations with a touch of digital savvy.

Heat Check - Secretary of Defense
With extensive experience in rule enforcement and community standards, Heat Check would be a strong choice for Secretary of Defense, ensuring national security and strategic preparedness.

Eagle - Secretary of Education
Known for their vigilance and dedication to maintaining a fair play environment, Eagle's skills would be perfectly suited for the role of Secretary of Education, implementing robust policies for educational development.

Zoe - Secretary of Labor
Her role as a supporter and premium member signifies a deep investment in the community's welfare. Despite her personal hardships, including her father's mysterious disappearance for milk three years ago, Zoe has shown resilience and leadership. As Secretary of Labor, Zoe would advocate for fair labor practices and employment opportunities, ensuring that every American has the support they need. Her touching story and plea for her father's return highlight her compassion and dedication to family values.

DireWarlord99 - Secretary of Veterans Affairs
With a strong presence in moderation and community management, DireWarlord99 would be an excellent Secretary of Veterans Affairs, ensuring that those who have served are well taken care of.

Clovis1122 - Secretary of Technology and Innovation
A talented programmer from Jamaica, Clovis1122 volunteered under Ivan and Amok, contributing to the development of the atWar mapmaker. Although his work resulted in some of the most bugged code the world has seen, his persistence and willingness to tackle complex programming challenges are commendable. As Secretary of Technology and Innovation, Clovis1122 would bring a unique perspective to the role, focusing on improving the nation's technological infrastructure and fostering innovation despite past setbacks.

Nedris - Secretary of Housing and Urban Development
Beloved by the community for his excellent map-making skills and his ability to bring people together, Nedris is a natural fit for Secretary of Housing and Urban Development. Of Italian heritage and openly gay, Nedris embodies diversity and creativity. His experience in creating detailed maps translates well into urban planning and development, ensuring inclusive and well-thought-out housing policies. His popularity and people skills will be invaluable in fostering community and addressing housing needs across the nation.

Croat - Director of the CIA
A controversial yet experienced figure, Croat has been both accused of cheating and praised for his strategic prowess in atWar. His controversial methods and deep knowledge of strategic operations make him a fitting, albeit unconventional, choice for Director of the CIA. While some may question his tactics, his ability to handle complex situations and navigate through adversities cannot be denied.
A Bright Future Awaits

The Panda Jew - Supreme Court Nominee
A Jewish man from Israel, The Panda Jew has served in the military during the conflict in Gaza, bringing a wealth of real-world experience and calm under pressure. Known for his chill demeanor and being best friends with Pavle, their bromance has become legendary within the atWar community. While his gaming skills may not be the best, his likability and fair-mindedness make him an excellent candidate for the Supreme Court. His background and strong sense of justice will ensure a balanced and compassionate judiciary.

Imagine this dynamic team leading the nation with the same dedication and innovation they've shown in the world of atWar. Their diverse skills and forward-thinking approach are exactly what's needed to take the country to new heights. Universal atWar Premium Membership for All? It's not just a policy; it's the future!

What title can I will get?

נכתב על ידי Tokugawa, 12.08.2024 at 13:46

What title can I will get?

Master of Whispers

נכתב על ידי Metyu, 09.08.2024 at 09:40

נכתב על ידי Oleg, 08.08.2024 at 06:43

The Visionary Leadership of Amok and Ivan

The illustrious Amok and Ivan, true visionaries from Estonia, are poised to bring their innovative spirit and adaptability to the highest office. Did you know that during their reign, atWar servers were hosted in none other than Kenya? Yes, you heard that right! This bold move showcased their exceptional ability to think outside the box, maintaining peak performance even in the face of adversity. Their global perspective and ability to optimize under any circumstances make them the perfect candidates to lead a nation into a bright, interconnected future.

Fake news! They were hosted in Somalia until Djiboutian pirates co operated with Waffel to take them down.

^^ This is true

Excellent shitpost